Colon Cleanse

I think it’s probably best to keep my Colon Cleanse adventure in its own little section of the blog rather than upset anybody. It may sound a bit weird, but I’m actually looking forward to removing all the nasties and just feeling a bit more “with it”. I’m also curious to find out about the emotional effects (or are these just going crazy from hunger). Watch this space…

 Day 1 -This is the “Pre-cleanse” stage of the programme. Today I’ve cut my food intake by 25% and before my evening meal took two of the “digestive stimulator” capsules. I’ve also been making sure that I drank plenty of water, since dry impacted faeces are not part of the plan! Before I go to bed tonight, I need to mix up a glass of “toxin absorber” with organic apple juice. I’m hoping that it tastes like root beer, not something nasty! Obviously it’s too early for any “results” yet, but I will keep on posting.

Pre-cleanse Day 2

I had the first Toxin Absorber drink before bed - it was ok, tasted a bit like ginger beer. I made sure that I had a glass of water straight after and waited a while before brushing my teeth as it’s not a good idea to brush straight after drinking fruit juice as it weakens the tooth enamel.

So this morning, the first results. I went for my BM around the time I usually go. It came out really quickly, and was soft without being liquid. I took two of the digestive stimulator caps last night, so this looks to be about right. I went again at lunch time, and this time it smelt a bit yak, but otherwise satisfactory. It is unusual for me to have two large BMs in one day, so it looks like the ole Blessed Herbs are doing their stuff. I haven’t had a lot to eat today, and I do feel a little bit hungry. I’d better get used to this because the five day fast is just around the corner.

Right, off to pop my Digestive Stimulator caps with a nice big glass of water. Bottoms Up!

 Pre-cleanse day 3

I was not particularly impressed at being kicked out of bed to have a BM at 5am!! But I felt much better afterwards and went back to sleep. Speaking of sleep, I’ve have really weird, vivd dreams since starting this cleanse, including a Tsunami (in Cleethorpes!). When I got up at normal time, I had another large BM, then a small one mid-morning and that was me done for the day. In the second BM, I got a bit excited as I thought I’d passed out some mucoid plaque, but on closer inspection it turned out to be a spinach leaf.

Tea-time was a bit of a nightmare, as we were off to Sheffield to see Rufus Wainwright. The performance was so camp it included Leiderhosen! I digress. The nightmare was that we stopped at the motorway services and there was hardly anything I could eat (since I’m avoiding meat and dairy  for the pre-cleanse). I ended up with a bottle of water, a bowl of mixed melon pieces and a packet of salted crisps. OK, the last one wasn’t very healthy, but all the sandwiches were either meat, fish or cheese.

I’m feeling really crap at the moment, pardon the pun, but I will persevere. Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better.

 The Cleanse - day 1.

It’s just gone 6pm, and I have ingested 4 out of the 5 “Toxin Absorber” drinks. They taste ok, but the gritty, foamy texture is somewhat offputting.

Since we didn’t get to bed till 2am, I was late getting out of bed today. Dutifully, I rose at 8am to take my first Toxin absorber drink of the day, and then went back to bed. I have been very good and have been drinking lots of water and have not had any solid food. I don’t feel hungry at all, but I do feel rather sluggish, and right now I don’t think I’ll be doing this programme again in a long, long, time. The only “results” to speak of was a piece of green slime, about the size of a slug and the texture of jelly. I’ve only had small BMs today, maybe I need to up my dose of the Digestive Stimulator capsules tonight.

The Cleanse - day 2.

As planned, I took 3 of the Digestive Stimulator caps before bed last night. This morning I felt so sluggish that I didn’t go to  yoga, even though the sun is shining outside and it’s a fab walk along the prom when it’s daybreak. I dragged myself out of bed at around 8am for my first drink of Toxic Absorber of the day. I wasn’t looking forward to this, but I felt glad when I’d done it. My heart did sink somewhat when I opened up the box and saw all the little sachets waiting for me to consume them.

And then it happened. At around 9.30, my first results came through. It must have been over three feet long. I’m telling you, nothing can prepare you for that. Looking at photos is one thing, but actually passing three feet of what looks like rubber tyre is the most bizarre experience. It didn’t hurt, and it came out fairly easily, but it’s alarming when this stuff just keeps coming and coming. In a weird way, though, I’m pleased. It’s given me the motivation to continue with this plan. And I’m glad I didn’t go to yoga, given that this happened!

The Cleanse - day 3

I’m nearly half way through now, hooray for me! I’ve got used to the Toxin Absorber mix, I’ve started giving it an extra shake and it’s not quite so gritty. Last night I only took two of the Digestive Stimulator caps as I my stools were quite liquid towards the end of the day.

Had a large BM this morning, but nothing to compete with yesterday. To be honest, now that’s out, anything else is a bonus. I don’t feel hungry and I’m going to walk to the shops this afternoon to take some more clutter to the charity shop. I’m off work this week, which is why I’m doing the Colon Cleanse now!

The Cleanse - day 4

Spoke too soon, had another mucoid plaque experience yesterday afternoon. This time it was shorter and thicker, but still about 2 feet long. I did cheat a bit and had a few cashew nuts to eat in the afternoon. I wasn’t really hungry, but I felt a bit “munchy” if you know what I mean. Today I’ve had two toxin absorber drinks and two digestive stimulator caps as I forgot to take them last night!

The Cleanse - Day 5

Nearly there. It’s not so bad, but weird to think that I’ve gone so long without solid food. I’m still passing some interesting stuff, but nothing as impressive as the first couple of days. I actually feel really healthy inside and my tummy hasn’t been so flat for ages. I’m seriously thinking of what dietary changes I will make when I start eating again - now I’ve gone through this cleanse, I don’t really like the idea of undoing all this good by eating junk food.

I’ve still got some of the toxic absorber and the digestive stimulator caps left, and the leaflet advises to keep taking the caps before the evening meal and one toxic absorber drink before bed until you run out.

Three weeks later

 I’ve been a lot more concious of what I put inside my body since finishing this cleanse. My stomach is still really flat and I feel much healthier. I still feel tired though, but this may be due to the short November days more than anything else.