5 common barriers to personal growth

Image by Thiru Murugan

When you decided to take the path of growth, you made some huge changes to your basis for existence whether you realised it or not. Sooner or later, you came up against some barriers to your growth and today we’re going to take a look at some of the most common things that appear to be blocking our journey and explore how to overcome these things and enhance our growth.

1. The other people in your life don’t support your quest for growth.

This has to be the number one barrier that people come up against when they decide that they want to lead a more meaningful life. Sometimes it feels as if we need to justify and convince others of our reasons for this journey.
Understand that you cannot change other people, you can only change yourself. If you find yourself growing frustrated with the “ignorance” surrounding you, perhaps this is a lesson to you that you need to become less judgemental of others. Don’t become defensive, but learn to distinguish between those who are genuinely interested, and those who just want to tell you that you are mistaken in your convictions. The purpose of personal growth is that it is personal, we are not on a mission to convert others to our way of thinking, but neither do we have to put up with people who show us disrespect.

2. Denial of negative feelings and emotions

A common misconception is that once you have embarked on a journey of raising your consciousness, you should somehow be “above” negative emotions and feelings. When these arise (as they will do, as you are human), there can be a tendency to deny the feelings or to feel that you have somehow failed in your intention to grow.
The reality is that growth can be difficult, even painful at times. We all have behaviour patterns that we have learned and sustained over the years and these are not easy to break. Sometimes the negative feelings are like growing pains, you need to work through whatever the issues are behind them (getting professional help, reading self-help books, talking issues through with friends), so that you can grow. Self-acceptance v Personal Growth by Steve Pavlina is a useful article this issue.
Positive thinking is not about denying reality, it is about re-framing it. If you’re feeling lousy, so be it, but maybe in working through the reasons for that feeling, you are giving yourself a gift of deeper self-understanding. In this way, that bad feeling is a blessing, because it has helped you on your path to growth.

3. Beliefs that limit youAs mentioned above, we all carry a certain amount of baggage with us on our journey and it can be hard to let go of that which no longer serves us. Many of us were brought up to feel that by asking big questions and wishing to live a meaningful life, we were being selfish and unreasonable. Or being silly and navel-gazing instead of living in the real world. We listened to these beliefs and took them on as our own, even though the people who were living in the real world had very little joy in their lives.
Wanting to grow as a person and live a meaningful life is not selfish. Even if you are a parent and you are being conditioned to think that you should put your kids first all the time, it is still NOT selfish to recognise that you have needs too and your needs are valid. As they say on aircraft, put your own oxygen mask on before helping others. By growing as a person, you are enriching the lives of those around you, especially those who depend on you.

4. Low self-esteem and sense of self worth

 

Maybe you feel as if you don’t deserve to feel happy and fulfilled. Who are you, after all, to have such high expectations when so many people are so much worse off than you are? I would say that if you are reading this article, you already want more out of you life that a “first you suffer, then you die” kind of existence. Working on your sense of self worth is an excellent starting point for personal growth. This is a journey that we all take at our own pace, jump in where you are, it is never too late.

5. Inflexibility

Life is fluid. Nothing ever stands still, and that includes you and your beliefs. Let go of your need to be right all the time. Let go of rigid belief systems that no longer serve you. Have a flexible manifesto for your life, one that allows space for you to change and grow. Let go of the notion that there is a cosmic scorecard marking you down if you fail or change your mind about something.

We are all on this journey together, but each of us experiences it in our own way. Your experience is just as valid as anyone else’s. If you want to break down the barriers to your personal growth, you must embrace them and find out what each experience is teaching you. Learning from personal experience is the most enriching learning there is.

This post is featured on the Personal Power Carnival at Pinkblocks