The Cycle of Change

Change is difficult. There are many models on the change cycle, but they all basically take the same sort of theme.

1) Everything is normal, happy, great.

THEN

2) Things start to change. People feel wrongfooted, uneasy, not sure if they can cope.

3) Change brings about loss. Even positive change. It can be hard to cope. But deep down we know that resistance is futile.

4) Adaptation. It becomes clear that the change is here and not going anywhere. People adapt and react in various ways

UNTIL

5) Everything is normal, happy and great again (only this time it’s a “new” normal).

Typically that’s when the earth starts to move again. Have you noticed how things are never settled for long? And when they are, that’s when people deliberately go about shaking things up? There’s a great section on the Awakenings website about the Change Cycle and the Wheel of Life.

HTB and I were navel gazing the other day and pondering on how this year has been hard. There are many things to be thankful for, and we feel blessed that there are so many good things in our lives. It has been hard, though, because there have been quite radical changes to our existence and adaptation takes time.

For myself, change has been inevitable this year. Previously, I was in a job which did not demand too much of me, and got on well with the people I worked with. The pay wasn’t fantastic, but it kept the bank manager happy. I had been there over a year and had a nice little velvet lined rut and probably would have stayed there another year. And possible another after that.

The universe had other ideas. In March of this year I was made redundant. In the months leading up to the redundancy, there were so many possibilities, not all of them positive. Moving away to another town. Unemployment. Getting another (and better paid) job. Setting up my own business. Maybe the company I worked for would secure more business and they’d keep me on after all.

I lost track of the number of times people told me it was an opportunity. No, it wasn’t, it was terrible! My way of life as I knew it was under threat. Change was coming and nothing was going to stop it!

As the redundancy date drew closer, I considered many options. I spoke to lots of people. I stayed calm and develope a “Que sera, sera” attitude over the whole thing. I applied for jobs, and reviewing my CV was an interesting exercise as I looked at how many things I had done and could still do. I came to terms with the fact that if I didn’t find a job straight away, I could still do temp work, and I would have an extra month’s pay from the company in my back pocket from the redundancy settlement.

I was lucky. About two weeks before the redundancy date, I was offered another job. Not only was it much closer to home (saving £100 a month in petrol), it was paying about 25% more than my old job. It really was an opportunity for me.

Since I would be working near HTB, I instigated the next change. I asked if I could move in with him. HTB was over the moon, but it hasn’t been easy. Four months in and we are still getting used to sharing our time and space. We also learnt that although we are similar creatures in many ways, there are other things that we just don’t see eye to eye on. Thankfully, we are learning the art of compromise, slowly but surely.

The next change will be getting married, and goodness knows what else in between, so watch this space!!